A Tiny Favor

Hey, Mom! (Pause.) No, I don’t want anything at all. Well, just one, teeny, tiny, little, insignificant, totally no-big-deal favor. (Pause.) PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, WITH A CHERRY ON TOP, AND SPRINKLES, AND WHIPPED CREAM: CAN I PLEASE GO TO KATHY’S SLEEPOVER TONIGHT? Wait! Before you say no, just hear me out! First of all, I cleaned my room from top to bottom, and it’s so clean, you could eat off the floor! I know you shouldn’t do it, but it’s a metaphor – just roll with it. I also mopped the tile floor in the living room, washed the dishes, bathed the cat, polished all the mirrors, took out the trash, finished all my homework for the next week, and booked your next appointment to the, the… podiatrist. Secondly, you’ve met Kathy’s mom, and you guys totally hit it off! I know you haven’t gotten the chance to check their wall paint for dangerously high amounts of lead or check her bank statements, but I think she’s pretty trustworthy! She keeps a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and everything. Also, she doesn’t have any big dogs in the house, or any other risk factors that could result in injury. So, what do you say, my loving, supportive, most amazing mother in the whole, wide world?

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